The Drought in Black Marriages

Posted by Antoinette R. Banks | Posted in | Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010

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Driving into work today, I listened to Angela Burt-Murray, editor-in-chief , at ESSENCE magazine on the Steve Harvey Morning Show this morning speaking about ESSENCE’s hot topic of the day: “The Dwindling Black Marriage.” I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, seems we're always hearing that marriage is an endangered institution in the black community.

So what did I do? I took a look at ESSENCE’s site and I was impressed by the comments, particularly from the never spotlighted single black men. Here’s an excerpt from one in particular:

You love the TALK all the time, but you never discuss your weaknesses with your new man. "Larry, I have been single for awhile and I have a tendency to want to do everything myself. I just wanted you to know that early on. As we get to know each other, I'm sure I will relax a little and enjoy YOU doing some of those tasks and helping me out." Now when a man hears this EARLY ON in a relationship, he thinks, "Wow,that took a lot for her to ADMIT her shortcomings. This woman is real.

Although I appreciated this eligible (when I say eligible, I mean, sane, attractive, and successful) man’s insight, I kept going back and thinking--why are we re-hashing a subject that was already been spoken about, half-heartedly treated, and stepped over?

Oprah covered it when Harvey's bestselling relationship guide dropped earlier this year. CNN dedicated the vast majority of its first "Black in America" to this subject. Terry McMillan’s has always talked about these issues since the early 1980’s and to put the icing on the cake, the very first issue of ESSENCE’s coverline: "Black Man, Do You Still Love Me?" came out in the mid 70’s.

We can go back and forth over what the issues are however I’d like to see the dwindling rate of marriages centered towards an American issue and not shinning the spotlight on the black community.

HT: Dale

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Happy marriages begin with happy individuals, so find happiness within to be able to be with someone else

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