Get OUT My Mind

Posted by Antoinette R. Banks | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2011



"What are you doing in here?" I ask.  He's not in here.  I know he's not.  I close my eyes, and open them slowly. Oh my God he is here.  I lounge across the room. "No, no...put that book down.  And that one too!"

Everything is out in the open now, I couldn't hide anything if I wanted to. I'm exposed...I might as well be standing there naked in front of him. A barely audible whisper escapes my mouth, "put it back on the shelf in alphabetical order please." I take a deep breath, close my eyes and slowly open them...drawing courage from somewhere I didn't know existed.  "I asked you a question, Raphael...what are you doing in here?"

As he stands there, his cologne reaches me...slicing through my barriers of protection...combating the sweet musk of my books in their mahogany shelves.

I look around the room of my treasured possessions.  I looked at the rows and rows of books, manuscripts, poems, words, life cataloged in one room.

Every book in here I wrote
Some I'm not too proud of
Some I wish I could burn
So many pages I wrote
Wish I could revise them
But there's no erasing
And the best advice I got was....
         keep writing
"Oh...nothing. Just looking, turning the pages. You've got some good material," he says with that smirk I used to love.  Should I just run? Should I scream? All I want to do is cry--
"I even took a few pages out that book over there.  I found it quite interesting.""Of what book?!"  He laughs. "Antoinette, what's wrong? Relax! I took a few from the big one over there.  The purple one on the stand."

The title of that purple book was, "My heart."


The question of the day is...who are you going to allow in your mind's library? Who will you grant the access to rip pages from your heart's surface and will stumble upon your "how-to" booklet's to reach your precious inner core's being?   Take it step by by day...and remember, there's no talking in the library.

HT: Dust

A Beautiful Heart

Posted by Antoinette R. Banks | Posted in | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011



The heart is the catalyst to the life of our frail body’s, without it we would cease to exist as it is one of the most important organs in our body. In science and literature, the heart is always taking spotlight.
When a break up occurs, we hear that someone’s heart is broken. We never hear that someone’s mind is broken, or their lung is broken--always the heart.

With my linear way of thinking, I can’t help but compare a beautiful heart with a scientific approach. As I sit and think about the heart expanding and contracting, delivering blood filled with oxygen to nourish our muscles and brain…I think about our daily situations. What positive affirmations do we hear causes us to expand? What negative phrases or disagreements cause us to contract? Dr, Dean Ornish writes in his book: Love and Survival. The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy:

“…love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well... I am not aware of any factor in medicine -- not diet, not smoking, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery—that has greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death from all causes.”

A beautiful heart to me is a heart that although maybe overworked from skipping beats, torn from palpitations, a bleed from an emotional rapture…continues to beat still encouraging life and growth. We can sit here and list all of the attributes that make up a heart: compassionate, kind-hearted, giving, sacrificial, nurturing…but a heart that continues to move firmly through the chemicals of life experiences, and through the weight of disenchantment in a failed relationship, is the most worthy of them all.

a-beautiful heart