The Man I Loved Could Never Love Me

Posted by Antoinette R. Banks | Posted in | Posted on Saturday, February 19, 2011



I recently had the worst day of my life.  I realized that the man I love is incapable of loving me the way I need to be loved. Does he love me? it the way I need to be loved? No.  It's important to know what you need in an individual and not settle for something mediocre. And how does one know how they need to be lived? Through a lot of self reflection, knowing what you like and don't like...having a thorough understanding of your identity. 

Now I could go into how he had some chick call me (WITH SOME IRREFUTABLE INFORMATION that made me cry like a baby) but what would be the point? LADIES, there’s SOOOO much more I could get into that would literally tarnish everything he’s worked for…but I have class, and to be honest, a little more concern for his well being than I should so I’ll operate on a higher level. 

Sometimes we walk around in a daze…hoping that the person that we have given our hearts to will help us grow, will invest in us, will hang on our every word.  That knows what we can and cannot eat (for health reasons) so will be thoughtful in selecting a restaurant.  An ultimate witness in our life, through the good decision-making and bad…and his witnessing won't subtract, but will be a seamless and beautiful addition to our life.

I think because women are natural nurturers and philanthropists at heart—we put up with more than what we should. Love is very simple when a person assumes the face of humility, and will sacrifice to make things happen. 

When a person reaches a level of success on a minor scale—it’s always a perfect indicator of what’s to come. Ladies, have you ever known a man who was feeling himself so much, he’s incapable of communicating with you? So you sit there and tell yourself, “no, he’s just busy…they’re running him crazy…he’s got a lot on his plate.”  Case in point, he took me to dinner and begged me to try to let him be there emotionally for me (well after we broke up, and I had retracted my time and emotions from him).  The next day my sister and I came to a disagreement so what did I do? I called him to see his response.  Let me just say he failed.  We as women always want to give men the benefit of the doubt before they have even earned it from us.

I guess right now I’m on some new sh*^ and being perfectly transparent because otherwise how else would I grow, or would help others grow. 

That "some chick" I mentioned earlier isn't just "some chick." But like I said...HIGH ROAD.

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